I'm currently editing a (really excellent) book that pushes the line for what is "legal" erotica in the US. This story involves consentual sex with girls. Not 8-year-olds, but teen-age girls, you know, girls with healthy sexual appetites like we all had when we were teen-agers (and some of us fortunate enough still to possess). I notice the author has taken care to address the age issue, and it amuses me on one hand and irritates me on the other.
For instance, just prior to the sexual incident, the man asks the girl "When do you turn 18?" and she replies "September 28." He then says "Happy Birthday" and they carry on. Well, since we don't know the exact date the story takes place on, we don't know if the girl's 18th birthday was yesterday, today, tomorrow, next week, last week? And it strikes me that this detail is what makes the story legal in the US or not. It's legal for the story to be taking place on the day of her 18th birthday but illegal if it's the day before. It just strikes me as ludicrous, that's all. Makes as bout as much (little) sense as any other attempt to legislate morality.
Last Sunday morning about 10 am I was at the neighborhood Kroger store buying some food and stuff. As I passed down the booze aisle, I decided to stock up. After all, my divorce is final this week and I have something to celebrate. So I grabbed about six different bottles of champagne and a six-pack of beer for the Relentless Tease (he likes Bud Light) and some other boozy stuff and headed for the check-out. The lady frowned at me as she began separating my booze from the groceries and set them on the counter behind her. "Can't buy alcohol before noon on Sunday," she informed me.
Again, that curious sensation of being amused and irritated at the same time. Did someone think that I might rush home and guzzle six bottles of champagne in two hours instead of going to church? Or that I might actually decide, oh what the heck, might as well go to church since I can't buy booze this morning? Or what? Seriously, what is the reasoning behind this silly law? What is the morality that is being legislated here? That I shouldn't drink on Sunday morning? Well why not make it illegal to DRINK on Sunday morning? Obviously if I want to get hammered on a Sunday morning, this ridiculous law is not going to slow me down one bit. If I were a lush, I'd certainly know to buy me booze on Saturday night so I'll be all set to hit the sauce the next morning while all the good people are in church. Instead, all this did was inconvenience me a bit. And I don't even drink that much! Is that the purpose of the law, to inconvenience those who don't indulge in the evil behavior very often while not hindering those who abuse the substance in the least bit?
We also have what's called "dry districts" here in Dallas, which means you might have to drive several miles to find a liquor store. Or you might have to fill out some silly membership card before you can order a drink in a restaurant. You see, private clubs can serve alcohol to their members in a dry district, but not public establishments. So, basically, every public establishment that wants to serve alcohol (which is most of 'em), calls itself a private club. You want to order a glass of wine with dinner, just write your name on this card and viola! you're a club member! (Don't you just love exclaiming "viola!" instead of "voila! "The problem with doing it in writing is that most people just think you don't know how to spell it.)
Am I the only one who finds it fascinating, this idea of legislating a moral code that seems to serve no common code of morality I've ever been aware of here (those who have a moral issue with boozing on Sunday morning or even boozing in general have kept themselves hidden well, if they exist) but merely creates an irritating inconvenience to every average person of drinking age sooner or later while everyone who wants to drink, on whatever day they want to drink, in whatever district they want to drink in manages to do so without being slowed down in the least by the wet laws? And whomever it is these laws are supported by or enacted by or created for don't really seem to mind all that much, since I've never heard anyone complain about the shameless way people get around the wet laws to commit their sinful act of drinking in spite of them. So why do folks grumble about the wet laws when it inconveniences them but nobody ever seems to notice the hypocrisy as I do and wonder who benefits from things the way they are?
Anyway, back to the teen-aged girls in the sex stories. I admit to not being real informed about the exact semantics of the law. For instance, I know it's against the law to publish an erotic tale on the internet involving an under-aged person. But I don't know how "involved" the under-aged person is allowed to be. Is it legal for an adult character in a story to get a hard-on at the sight of a 15-year-old's belly button? Is it legal for the 15-year-old to masturbate or fantasize about having sex as long as no actual adult person touches her in the course of the story? Is it legal for an adult person to french kiss a 16-year-old, and if not, is it the tongue that makes it a description of a sexual act? If you were to describe such a kiss, making it clear exactly the sort of kiss you mean but not explicitly mentioning the tongue or that it's a French kiss, is it still immoral, or is it possible to accuse someone of having a perverted mind if they insist on reading tongues in where some other, wholly innocent, kind of kiss was intended?
And who exactly gets to decide where these lines are drawn? Why do we allow other people to tell us whether our sexual fantasies, behaviors and desires are acceptable? Do we not feel qualified to judge our own?
I know, it's not "our" standards that we worry about, it's "theirs." We have to make sure "they" are not crossing any lines, because even though we know we know what's right, other people always seem to disregard the standards of decency and do dirty things. Gotta keep "those people" in line or this world is headed for hell in a hand-basket! Thank God we have the community to keep us moral and remind us of our good solid family values.
I know I personally would probably be up a creek named S-H-I-T with nary a paddle if I didn't have laws reminding me that I shouldn't drink on Sunday or that I shouldn't write stories about children having sex.
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