Oh, is there anything more peevesome than trying to sleep through the riotous cachophony of someone else’s peaceful slumber? I think all of the snorers should go and live on an island with all of the people who sleep with the television on all night, then the rest of us can get some sleep.
Just to digress for one minute--I don't know why, but I seriously have a weird phobia kind of thing about sleeping with the TV on. Not only can't I fall asleep very easily with a TV on in the room, but I truly get this ooky feeling whenever I wake up in the middle of the night and find a television has been left on somewhere in the house. *SHUDDER* I can't explain it. It's like the television unleases something evil into our homes if left on while we're sleeping. Not to mention the weird sensation of having strangers in your home doing stuff--talking or singing or driving or whatever they're doing right there in your house with you while you're sleeping. I don't know why no one else but me feels anxiety about that. Y'll folks who sleep with the TV on, do you invite your neighbors over to hang out in your house during the night--"Just make yourselves at home, we'll be right here sleeping away. Feel free to hang out in the bedroom right here with us, we'll just be using the bed, you're welcome to use the rest of the room for, you know, solving a crime or performing surgery, maybe eat some dinner. You could even have sex if you want, right here next to us."
Back to the snoring, though. I keep a voice-activated recorder by my bed (to record my dreams) so I can say without a doubt, I do not snore.
I come from a family of snorers who could shake the very rafters and foundations of the house. For me, visiting relatives means I’ll be getting little sleep. And oh, the irony, when I’m tip-toeing around so as not to wake any of the sleeping thunder--because their sleeping makes it impossible for me to sleep myself!
How does one sleep when one is making such a horrible racket at such close proximity to one’s own ears? If I can’t sleep through it, three rooms away, how does he sleep with himself?
My sister is the worst I’ve ever heard. Oh sweet Lord and Lady, she makes the loudest, most unfeminine sound imaginable. ’Twould peel the paint off the walls.
Snoring is not just unattractive, it’s unsafe. As a child, I believe I knew this instinctively. I remember shivering in my bed at night, listening to my parents snore, my little heart knocking around in my chest, because I just KNEW something was very wrong with Mommy and Daddy to cause them to make such horrible noises. And if I tried to match my breathing to theirs, I would pass out from lack of oxygen, so I knew they were fixing to keel over dead any second: SHNAAAWWWWWAAAAAWWWWWW--SHNAAAWWWWWWAAAAAWWWWWWWW!!!!
How could they live through it? Better I stay awake and make sure they don’t stop breathing altogether. And this is probably why I can’t sleep with a snorer today.
So if you snore...fix that!! For yourself, for your loved ones, for your poor scared children in their beds, do it for the paint on your walls! You’ll be 100% sexier while you’re sleeping, and will probably live longer when you take that strain off of your heart.
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