No More Moles, Warts, or Skin Tags. Yay!

I like to use odd things for divination. Today, I turned to my Spam Folder in my email. I guess this would be Spamomancy. I will attempt to divine deep spiritual insight from the spam in my junk folder.

My Past:

Be a Champion in the Bedroom. Hmm, yes, I vaguely recall something like this in my distant past. Introducing the Stronger, Longer-Lasting male enhancement system. Increase her satisfaction. Vivid virility. Yeah, okay, this is the Relentless Tease. Combine this with a handful of spam about easy-credit short-term loans, and I understand that all that satisfaction and vivid virility came with a hefty interest rate. Paid that sucker off, and I'll be stashing away my goodies until I have enough saved up for another Champion in the Bedroom.

My Present:

I'm ready for a change - how about you? Why yes, as a matter of fact, I am. Mate1 Intimate Dating: You should sign up, it takes only 5 secs. Only 5 secs to Intimate Dating, huh? Cool. Combined with the next spam in the list: She's looking for you, I'm thinking the "change" I'm ready for may be more drastic than I thought. Hmm, she's looking for me. I wonder what she looks like. Nice soft belly, sweet lips. Blue eyes. Note to self: find out if there's some kind of form that has to be filed in order to officially become a lesbian.

My Future:

Can you be like a man? Well shoot, if I'm gunna start shagging women, I guess I can be like a man in some kinda way. C1alls Soft Tabs is the new impotence treatment drug that everyone is talking about. You need only 15 minutes till you feel the effect. Fifteen minutes and I can be like a man. Damn. Do I have to be exactly like a man? Can I just be strong and unfeeling like a man, yet still be smart and intuitive and feminine like a woman?

No more Moles, Warts or Skin Tags. Oh, thank God. I don't think I could survive another Wart. I'll be happy enough if all the moles, warts and skin tags could just stay right the hell away from me from now on. Watch your moles and warts disappear! Well, yeah, they do that. No more burning, freezing or products that don't work. But, you know, I might miss the burning just a little bit. Learn about the quick, painless way people are removing moles, warts and skin tags. And it's a bright outlook for my future. I will learn how to get rid of those pesky Warts quickly and painlessly next time.